All the medical advice is that the deficiencies you are left with after your Stroke are the only ones you will have.
While I of course bow to their greater knowledge as Medical Professional, I am not sure that I believe them, or should I say that it does not feel like that when you have had a Stroke.
I have talked at some length to other Survivors about this and there is some agreement that the advice is, if not wrong, at least miss leading.
I am sure that the medics will be able to state huge volumes of evidence that would support their assertion but I would tell them that is not how it feels.
When days, weeks or even months after your Stroke you come across new things that you cannot do it sure as hell feels like you have a new deficiency!
Of course, I fully understand how this difference of understanding comes about. When you have survived a Stroke regardless of the number or range of deficiencies you have been left with the thing that you do is to rest. This period of reduced activity can often be an extended one. It is only as you begin to feel better does one a little more.
I know that I was very lucky to have the small number and limited range of deficiencies that I was left with I am also typical of a large number of Stroke Survivors. I cannot and nor would I ever dream of making statements about what it is like to deal with more severe deficiencies.
I also know that the brain begins the task of rerouting almost immediately just as I also know that it can take a very long time. It is only as a Survivor regains a measure of physical strength together with emotional and physiological stability that he or she begins to attempt to do more of the things they were capable of before their Stroke.
So to take my case as an example: in the weeks after I came out of hospital I did very little physically. It is true that I did repaint the kitchen (see previous post Painting the Kitchen) but I was able to take my time, which I certainly did. Whenever I felt tired I rested. The other difference was that it did not involve very much of what I call “high end fine motor skills”. It is also probably true that when doing the kitchen I grew tired before I needed to use those particular elements of my muscle control. Whereas when I was in the Alps attempting to Ski and Ten-pen Bowl the activities themselves demanded that I use them. In both instances it was the inability to push to the outer edge of the natural arc on the right that caused the problem. This meant that when skiing I was able to move my right leg as it swung round the hip but when it came to pressure on the outer edge of that swing as is necessary when trying to turn or come to a stop it proved totally ineffective, with the result that I could not turn or stop: both of which are vitally important when skiing. The same thing happened when Ten-pin Bowling. I knew that my usual choice of Ball was heavier than I could manage so I was more than prepared to use a less heavy one. I could go through the same motions that I had always done, with the same movement toward the toward the line, with the same back lift of the ball, the same bend and movement of the right leg behind the left to clear the right hip out of the way and a reasonable swing and follow through. So, prior to letting the Ball go everything seemed fine, or at least not too bad. Then I let the ball go! The result of which was not at all what I wanted, expected or even hoped for. The first ball barely reached halfway before dropping into the lefthand Gutter. The second made it a little farther but still rolled disconsolately past the still standing Pins. No matter how hard I tried most Balls ended with the same result. I tried everything I could think of: changing my angle of approach to the line; a faster approach; a faster, heavier swing. Generally the only result was that the ball got a yard or two more before heading inexorably for the Gutter. Every so often I did manage to get the Ball all the to the waiting Pins and on one memorable occasion even registered a Spare. I had no idea how and I am sure it was more by luck than judgement. Whatever the combination of factors that enabled it to be achieved I certainly was unable to duplicate them except on rare occasions.
I am convinced that the story I have detailed here is not a new one and I am just as sure that I am not the only Stroke Survivor to have had similar experiences and felt the same range of emotions. I express that level of surity because I have been told so by other Stroke Survivors. One story in particular springs to mind, which is not easy what with my memory. A Stroke Survivor that I know who is a little older than me and had his Stroke after my last one found that he had lost the ability to carryout one of his most beloved hobbies. He was a Calligrapher. A few weeks after his Stroke he felt ready to return to something that had given him uncounted hours of pleasure in the past. I can only imagine the distress he felt when he found the ability to maintain the high level of fine control in his arm and hand to produce the work he had been used to had deserted him. Speaking to him in the months since he has yet to regain his previous abilities.
My plea to medical professional of all types is could you please stop peddling the story that the deficiencies you are left with after your Stroke are the only ones you have. As I have already said I am very well aware that you are technically correct but believe me when I say that coming across a deficiency that you did not know you had feels emotionally and psychotically like a new one!
Having accepted that very simple logic I have one further request but this one is aimed at both health professionals as well as the numerous support groups.
TELL US ABOUT THE PHENOMENON and do so right at the beginning!
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